redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
