let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
