So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
