When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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