we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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