she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
