dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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