Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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