he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
