This girl is more easily done than said...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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