Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
