That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
