Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
