That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
