I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
