New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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