Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
