seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
