Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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