I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
