Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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