The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
