doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
