We're like a lot better than the average bears
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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