She said her name was "party"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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