Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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