it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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