i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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