I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
