Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
