On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
