I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
