Pappa wants mamma naked
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
