There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
