i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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