it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
