Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
