I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You took a bar mat shot.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
