Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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