theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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