she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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