I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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