i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
