did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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