He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
