Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
