I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
