I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
