What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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