Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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