All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
