woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
