We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
