Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
