My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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