Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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