she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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