i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
