My nipple is on Facebook.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
