We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
