Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
