I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
