Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
