i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
