I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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