I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
