sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize