I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
