sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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